Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or group makes someone question their own reality, memory, or perceptions. This tactic is often used to gain power and control over the individual being gaslighted. 

The term "gaslighting" was coined from the 1938 British play called Gas Light, in which a husband manipulates a wife into thinking she is crazy by slyly changing the intensity of the gas lights in their home when she is left alone. He does this in an attempt to make her believe she cannot trust herself or her memory. 

Experienced Transformational Life coach and NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) therapist Gill has identified that many people are damaged after being a victim of gaslighting.  It’s time to break the cycle collectively and consciously. She invites you to understand and identify the red flags, be brave and discreetly stand up for any possible victims within your social circle. 

Here are some key characteristics and effects of gaslighting:

• Denial of Reality:
  • The gaslighter denies events or situations that the victim knows to be true, causing the victim to doubt their own memory and perceptions.

• Lying and Deception:
  • The gaslighter often lies blatantly and consistently, even in the face of clear evidence to the contrary.

• Projection:
  • The gaslighter accuses the victim of behaviours or thoughts that the gaslighter themselves are exhibiting. This confuses the victim and shifts blame away from the gaslighter.

• Trivialising:
  • The gaslighter makes the victim’s feelings or concerns seem unimportant or exaggerated, diminishing their confidence in their own judgment.

• Isolation:
  • The gaslighter may isolate the victim from friends, family, or support systems, making them more dependent on the gaslighter and more vulnerable to manipulation.

Effects on the Victim:

• Self-Doubt:
  • The victim begins to question their own memories, perceptions, and sanity.

• Confusion:
  • The victim feels constantly confused and unsure about what is real or true.

• Emotional and Psychological Distress:
  • The victim may experience anxiety, depression, or a sense of hopelessness.

Dependence on the Gaslighter:

• Over time, the victim may become increasingly reliant on the gaslighter for a sense of reality and validation.

Recognising Gaslighting:

• Trust Your Instincts.
  • If you feel like something is off or if you frequently find yourself doubting your reality or feeling confused, it might be a sign of gaslighting.

• Document Incidents
  • Keeping a journal of events can help you keep track of reality and recognise patterns of manipulation.

• Seek Support
  • Talk to friends, family, or a mental health professional who can provide an outside perspective and support.

Responding to Gaslighting:

• Set Boundaries: Clearly define what behaviour is unacceptable and stick to your boundaries.

• Seek Validation: Get second opinions from trusted friends, family, or professionals.

• Prioritise Self-Care: Focus on activities and practices that support your mental and emotional well-being.

• Consider Professional Help: Therapy can be an invaluable resource in understanding and overcoming the effects of gaslighting.

Understanding gaslighting can empower individuals to recognise manipulative behaviour and take steps to protect their mental and emotional health.